Your mouth is God's brothel.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
