Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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