so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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