He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
