I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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