I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
