Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
