im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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