He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize