Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
this boner is exhausting
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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