We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
