why didn't you poke me back
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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