It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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