I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
