I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
