I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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