If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
