If that was your dad, he is hot
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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