our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
