We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
