is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
