Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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