susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
