We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
