She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
