I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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