remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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