he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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