Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
