yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
