i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
