are you still at the devil's house?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
