in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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