Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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