I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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