I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
