who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
