It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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