Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
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at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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