I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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