Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This is classic penis vs brain.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
