you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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