Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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