Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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