I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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