Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
