everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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