is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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