I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize