Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I fill condoms, not promises.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
