I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize