OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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