I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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