In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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