omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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