I puked a lego.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
