last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
