??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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