In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
