Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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