I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
