so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
