I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
